A PG-13 Version of Girl Scout Cookie selling

WARNING: This post is not suitable for children under the age of 13 and is rated PG-13 for language.

Emily is new to Girl Scout's this year, and so it is understandable that she is also new and inexperienced in the art of selling. Unfortunately her salesman of a dad isn't here to teach her his technique so she had to set out on her own. We went to the meeting, learned ALL of the rules, signed my life away on all the forms and now she's ready to begin. So rather than send her door to door, I hand over my phone with an overview of the phone book and the family members she should call to "practice" her little schpill. Most of the conversations went something like this:

Family member: "Hello?"
Emily: "Hi"
Family member: "Oh hi Emily, what are you doing?"
Emily: "Uh just selling Girl Scout Cookies."
Awkward pause . . .
Family member: "Well what kinds do you have?"
Emily: "I don't know. Mom what kinds are there?"
I read the list and she repeats.
Family member: "How much are they?"
Emily: "Um I think like $35 a box."
Me whispering: "No $3.50 a box!"

You get the idea.

She had called my sister and handed the phone over after this painful conversation. It was on speaker and my sister said, "She needs to practice hers sales pitch a little."

"Mom what's a sales bitch?"

"Sales pitch Emily, not the other word."

"Sales bitch or pitch?"

(Meanwhile my sister is laughing hysterically on the line while I'm trying to keep a straight face.)

"PITCH Em! Don't say the other word."

"Well what's a bitch anyway?"

"I'll tell you when your older, just don't say it."

Thanks to this entertaining pitch with a "p," my sister has managed to make multiple sales to people at her work. I keep getting texts saying, 'So and so from work would like this many boxes.' or 'Call this person, they would like to buy some cookies.' I offered to get her a cookie selling badge, but she said she'd just share with Em. I told her to watch out or she just might become Emily's cookie selling bitch. :)

So if you'd like to buy some Girl Scout Cookies, you have the option of listening to Emily's pitch or getting in touch with her bitch . . .